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Thursday, March 4, 2010

She’s in…She’s out!!!

One of the legendary Marathi Writer P.L.Deshpande wrote, “Where Rangoli is dropped, it carries its colour with it…”I feel this sentence is applicable to women, perfectly.

Woman…the word is itself mysterious as her mind. Grammatically, I never understood the arrival of the word. Does this anywhere derived from the word “man”?. Wikipedia describes ‘women’ as irregular plural.
(to remove doubts, here the word ‘women’ is to be taken as noun and not as person.)

She always played an important role in society. From the very existence of human being. From the ages human started living in groups, they form groups of man and women. There might be physical attraction also…but need of social completeness would have been more prominent. And you need not be sociology expert to understand he and she completes the family. If he is strong, she is sensitive. If he is practical, she is emotional. If he makes his mind stone alike, she covers it with blossom. Nature created both to complement each other. John Gray, writer of well known book said..” Where men are from mars, women are from venues, so as there are differences”. Something which each one should respect.

She loves, cares, understands. Psychology and behavior pattern of her is different, very soft and beautiful. When she loves, no one else loves you more. When she cares, she can’t think anything else. She is sensitive, so she needs someone to be her. She is emotional so she liked to be loved. She may not speak everything, but she likes someone else to understand it. But, she is strong too. When she decides, thousands of storms cant even disturb it. Her emotions are not always her weakness. She is thus the perfect piece of creature to nurture. Hence, nature donated the beautiful gift of motherhood to her only.

However for ages, her softness was misinterpreted as her weakness. There created Male dominated society. She was denied her rights. She was denied equality. She was denied development. Now things are being changed. More in cities, where women started coming forward. From Engineering to Management and from politics to defence, women are participating at par with men. Rather there was never any need to distinguish these two wheels in capabilities. However, her arrival on public front have gave rise to some other aspects as well.

Money earning was dominated by him until. How he can tolerate she earns as well. Today, many women face the problem of non acceptance of women working. From mild resistances like not being ready to work in team, or unwilling to render help to ridiculous cases of sexual harassment are the indications of woman is not fully accepted in office.
We, in Mumbai might not understand the situation. Today, in Mumbai she works as hard as he. She is as intellectual, as practical, as growth oriented and target driven. She is ready to compromise on her emotions, her family responsibilities or her basic instincts. She works late, she leaves home early. There is virtually no ground for which boss can differentiate he and she. Rather due to her basic instincts, she has created big challenges to him. She possesses certain inborn qualities which he doesn’t always.

She is more creative and innovative which is mantra of today’s management. She can think out of box and dig below the ground. She can think from thousands of angles before arriving decision. She can handle the stress more calmly and with perfection. She can complete the task with more precision. She has thinking of using resources at her disposal more diligently. And all these traits are not developed from any Dale Carnegie workshops. These are some things which she has been doing, using and working every now and then.

But, the problem becomes more intolerable when she is his boss. How can I accept her as my boss? is the question of many men (in silence).Some men confess it also. This is because, we still think socially that she should always be lesser than him. While marrying she should have lesser age, lesser height. (I didn’t say lesser salary which white colour people consider out of dated idea.)Again I am not talking about metros, where in most places superiority is judged on merits. But here also the psychology has not been changed completely. Today she leads the Companies, she leads social activities and she leads political party also. Again, due to her inborn traits she is best equipped with Leadership qualities. She is best Economist. She can handle the resources better. It has been proved that she can be better Finance Manager than him.

Having said that women are coming front and running as hard as men in the race of life, unlike men they are also expected to fulfill their family responsibilities. It’s her first work, her duty… and she is also expected to earn for you. Isn’t it unwise demand of society? But she does this also, and does it with perfection as a great athlete. She balances home and office. She balances work and sasubai’s expectations. She balances assignments and child’s study. She balances increased targets and husband’s mind too. There is no intention to rule out the same situations for unmarried girls. She also has to balance her personal life and professional life. She has to fulfill expectations of her family and her office. She has to focus on her career while concentrating on her social duty, she has to be up to mark with her colleagues while respecting reasonable social limitations which are not applicable to her male colleagues. She has to cope up with changing material, psychological and social situations and to live multiple roles at the same time. In both the cases, she loves to live relations and emotions. So, not always she does it out of compulsion but rather she does it with pleasure and utmost enthusiasm. Only she can balance it well. Something for he really hats off her!

In the race of such panic, she finds herself sometimes in no mans land, alone, unsupported. After all she is a human, and that too more sensitive and emotional person amongst two, who needs care, love and support. Some are fortunate to have an understanding partner and family, some are grossly unfortunate. But, they carry on and carry with same energy next day.

The Common problem many working women and girls face is not finding time for them. While devoting time to her Family, husband, children, Friends, Sas-sasur, relatives & relations (these two are different), maika and sasural, office, assignments, targets, increasing work pressures, competition….She finds nil residual for herself, and this has been increasing her panic more.

The article is not to list out problems of women, but on this your day, he just wants to remind her…he knows and is very respectful for what she is doing. He might have not given enough importance to her…but her efforts have not being un-noticed.

What P.L Deshpande rightly said…she, like Rangoli wherever goes…carries her colour and make it colourful.

The World is beautiful…but she has made it more beautiful place to live..!!